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NOAH
LEVINE-TO HELL AND BACK
By
Tim Coleman
Covered
in tattoos and with a shaven head, Noah Levine does not look the
part of a spiritual teacher. But Levine knows a thing or two about
spirituality, because he's been to hell and back. Plunging into
the depths of drug addiction, crime and violence, he has managed
to channel his former passion for self-destruction into an equally
energetic embrace of Buddhism and meditation. This remarkable transformation
from drug-addicted street punk to meditation teacher is vividly
expressed in his book Dharma Punx, a title inspired by Jack Kerouac's
famous novel Dharma Bums. Levine's book, a piercingly honest memoir
of his struggle and eventual redemption, has become a cult classic.
And Levine is not shy about advertising his Buddhist beliefs. He
has the words COMPASSION and WISDOM tattooed on his hands. On the
inside of one arm he has a tattoo of the Hindu god Krishna, while
on the other an image of the Buddha.
WAITING
FOR THE MAN
Sitting
on a sofa at Blackheart Studio in San Francisco, Levine waits patiently
for his old friend and tattooist Scott Sylvia to add some more work
to his already overcrowded flesh.
"Don't
listen to any of his spiritual crap," jokes Sylvia, as he pokes
his head through the door and tells us it will be several hours
before he can work on Levine. With perfect Buddhist detachment,
Levine looks to the heavens and ignores Sylvia. Smiling, he lights
another cigarette, one of the only addictions he hasn't yet managed
to conquer. However, given Levine's previously insatiable appetite
for drugs, tobacco seems mild by comparison.
"I started
smoking pot at five," declares Levine, describing his spectacularly
dysfunctional childhood in Santa Cruz, California. "I was drinking
at six," he continues. "And I took my first tab of acid
at ten." By the time he was 17, Levine had graduated to smoking
crack and shooting heroin.
Having studied
Buddhist philosophies, Levine is open to the possibility of reincarnation.
So did he, in some way, deliberately choose his difficult life?
"Who knows where all that anger and self-destruction came from,"
he replies. "Perhaps much of it came from my psychological
circumstances. My parents got divorced when I was two. My stepfather
was abusive and my mother struggled with substance abuse. I may
have come into this world with a lot of karmic momentum charged
with anger and dissatisfaction. It's probably a bit of both."
Levine's sense
of alienation was greatly heightened when, in the late 1970s, he
was shipped off to his father's house in New Mexico. At the age
of seven, he found himself virtually the only white kid in a predominantly
black and Hispanic neighborhood. Being on the sharp end of racist
abuse, Levine soon realized his immediate environment was far from
safe. And growing up at the height of the Cold War, he also realized
how the world in general had gone insane. "At an early age,
I saw how the planet is run by oppression, greed, hatred and delusion.
I thought, What's left to do but rebel? Tear it all down. Smash
the system. In the beginning, it was this dream of trying to change
the system. But once that was frustrated, it soon become self-destruction."
A
PUNK ROCK EDUCATION
Youthful
rebellion nearly always involves rejecting parental values. Levine
was no exception. His father, Steven Levine, is a renowned spiritual
teacher and author of bestsellers such as A Gradual Awakening and
A Year to Live. However, the younger Levine wanted none of his father's
"hypocritical hippie values," and plunged headlong into
the punk scene. "I found a great sense of belonging in punk
rock," explains Levine. "A belonging I couldn't find at
home or at school." He believes his real education came from
punk. "School may have taught me to read and write but at a
fundamental level it didn't tell me anything really important about
life. Instead, you are being filled with distorted histories about
the past and propaganda about the value of the American dream. It's
all such a twisted perspective," he declares. It was in the
lyrics of punk that Levine saw the myths of the American dream stripped
bare. "It was a great political education," he states.
"It pointed out the suffering, the oppression and the corruption
of our society."
Despite the
political insights Levine may have gained from punk rock, his relentless
rebellion continued to fuel his decent into anger, crime and drugs.
His criminal life began at the tender age of five when he got busted
for setting fire to a field. Between the ages of 12 and 17, he was
arrested and thrown into jail a total of 15 times. Finally, he hit
rock bottom. After a botched attempt at suicide, he got caught trying
to steal a car stereo, so he could buy drugs. When he got arrested,
he fell apart and was thrown into a padded cell. "I was tortured
by the memories of a life only half lived yet almost over,"
he states in his book. "Seventeen years old and dying. Institutionalized,
locked in a rubber room crying and screaming."
FINDING
A WAY OUT BY GOING IN
While
in jail, Levine received a call from his father who comforted him
and suggested he try a simple meditation technique to calm his mind.
Levine was so desperate he was even willing to try his father's
"hippie shit," and began to meditate. He found the technique
of focusing on inhalation and exhalations an excellent way to keep
the mind focused on the present. "At that time," he says,
"I discovered that meditation could be a very practical way
of dealing with the chaos of the mind. The future looked bleak as
I was facing seven years in jail. I was filled with remorse about
the past and what I had done with my life. So, staying focused on
the present was the best place to be!"
Having hit his
nadir, Levine was finally able to take responsibility for his life
and stop blaming everyone else for his problems. "It was clear
to me that, even though the system sucks, I was the one taking the
drugs, committing crimes and getting myself screwed up over and
over." With the help of 12-step programs and an increasing
devotion to meditation, Levine was able to claw his way out of active
addiction and steer a bumpy course to recovery.
EARLY
TATTOOS
Part of
Levine's recovery involved joining the Straight Edge punk movement,
a drug-free offshoot of the punk scene that developed in the late
'80s. It was at this point that Levine's addictive personality found
a new vehicle, tattooing.
"My first
four tattoos were all Straight Edge tattoos," recalls Levine,
pointing to the design of crossed hammers and a fist with an X on
it. "The X is the symbol for Straight Edge," he explains.
"The crossed hammers signify my belief in the working-class
ethic." On his right shoulder is another Straight Edge design,
hands bound to a red cross. "The hands are breaking free from
the ropes," Levine points out. "This symbolizes the escape
from the bondage to drugs and alcohol."
Levine has had
some of his early tattoos covered up. Under the unusual solid black
design tattooed by Gary Kosmala on his left leg was once a tattoo
of the Statue of Liberty pouring out a bottle of booze instead of
a holding the torch. On the other side of his leg was a design of
the American flag with an eagle holding one of the 12-step symbols
of recovery. "After traveling internationally, I started to
see how much oppression the American flag stands for," he remembers.
"I don't want to offend anyone but, after that, I decided the
U.S. flag wasn't an image I wanted on my skin. So, I had it covered
up."
As Levine's
interest in tattooing grew, he began to spend more and more time
hanging out in studios. It was during this period that he met his
good friend-to-be Scott Sylvia, who was apprenticing in Miller Cotton's,
a studio in Monterey, California. The same shop where Levine was
having his Straight Edge tattoos done. Sylvia was also newly in
recovery, after struggling with alcoholism. The two found they had
much in common.
Despite staying
clean and sober, Levine was not totally cured of his rebellious
behavior and, for a while, got heavily into graffiti. Inevitably,
the police caught up with him. He was charged with vandalism and,
given his prior record, faced a maximum of 17 years in jail. Fortunately,
the judge realized that Levine was trying to turn his life around
and ordered him to pay $10,000 restitution and 500 hours of community
service. After this, a grateful Levine began seriously to embrace
Buddhism. "Being an addictive type," he confesses, "when
I find something that makes me feel good I want to do it all the
time, so I did, I turned my life towards recovery and spiritual
practice. I knew that this was the last hope for me."
LIFE
IS SUFFERING
"The
first noble truth of the Buddha is that life is suffering,"
states Levine. "That moved me and continues to move me. I feel
like I understand what the real causes of suffering are and what
the solutions are to get free. That's where the Buddhist path has
taught and inspired me."
One of the most
important lessons Levine learned was that service to others is a
liberating antidote to the self-obsessions of the addictive personality.
"The more I practiced kindness and humility, the more the world
seemed to appear friendly and manageable," he explains. Levine's
determination to be of service led him to start working in hospitals
and as a counselor to AIDS patients. He subsequently went on to
earn a Master's Degree in counseling psychology. He also began to
study with many well-known Buddhist teachers. During the '80s, he
was trained to teach meditation by Jack Kornfield at Spirit Rock
Meditation Center in Woodcare, California. Kornfield is an internationally
famous spiritual teacher and author of many bestsellers including
A Path With a Heart and After the Ecstasy, the Laundry.
MEETING
THE DALAI LAMA
It was
while studying at Spirit Rock that Levine was fortunate enough to
meet the Dalai Lama, a meeting that both parties are unlikely to
forget. "There was a group of us standing in a row as His Holiness
was about to leave," recalls Levine. "He came directly
up to me and grabbed my hands and pulled them towards him, looking
at the tattoos. He looked up at me and exclaimed quite simply, 'Very
colorful.' He started laughing, and then the whole room erupted
in laughter. It was a very special moment."
Levine also
traveled extensively throughout Asia and India. Prior to visiting
India, Levine had confined his tattoos to areas that could be covered
by clothing. This stemmed from a concern that having visible tattoos
might prevent him from getting certain jobs. But after he got back,
he had changed his thinking. "I realized I was no longer willing
to live my life for anyone else out fear of how I would be judged
or oppressed for being tattooed." Having done a great deal
of spiritual and psychological work on himself, Levine was extremely
confident and didn't need anyone else's approval. "I no longer
needed to appear the way society wanted me to appear. I love tattoos
and I wanted to be covered in them. If that meant I didn't get certain
jobs, well, too bad."
For a long time,
Levine had been a big fan of tattooist Eddie Deutsche. He had seen
some of Deutsche's tattoos on friends and wanted to get his own.
Levine started hanging out at Deutsche's old studio in San Francisco,
222. Deutsche tattooed both the image of the Hindu god Krishna on
his left arm and the Standing Buddha on his right. Levine even did
a stretch as receptionist for 222 but left after three months. "It
was fun but it wasn't for me. I wanted jobs where I could be of
more meaningful service to people."
MEDITATE
AND DESTROY
During
the entire time I interviewed and photographed Levine, Sarah Fisher
discretely recorded everything on video for a documentary called
Meditate and Destroy (www.meditateanddestroy.com). The documentary
aimed for release in 2006, explores Levine's life and how he has
managed to meld his rebellious punk rock tendencies with community
service and Buddhism.
Part of that
service also includes the mind body awareness project. Set up by
Levine, it is a project close to his heart and his former experience
as a street punk and addict. Levine and others, like his friend
and fellow dharma punx, Vinny Ferraro, teach meditation to hundreds
of young kids in the San Francisco Bay Area, many who are incarcerated
in jails or institutions. This is one job where being heavily tattooed
is a distinct asset. "It certainly helps break down the barriers,"
explains Levine.
Outside of jails,
Levine's tattoos help him communicate his spiritual philosophy to
the public. "It definitely sparks up conversations," he
says. "People who don't know about Buddhism will go, 'Oh, that's
great; what is it?' I look at it as a chance to strike up a conversation
about the teachings and spiritual practice."
THE
REAL REBELLION
On the
surface, it doesn't seem that Buddhism, punk rock or tattooing have
very much in common. But closer inspection proves otherwise. The
common thread is rebellion. And when Levine discovered this, much
of his early life seemed to make sense. He had read a line where
the Buddha described his teachings as "going against the stream,"
and how the spiritual path is against man's selfish and deluded
ways. "The real rebellion," the Buddha counseled, "was
actually an inner rebellion: A rebellion against delusion and one
that leads to liberation."
"From an
early age, I knew that greed, hatred and delusion were not the way,"
states Levine. "I was rebelling in the wrong way. I was adding
hate to hate and was actually feeding it rather than renouncing
it. Unfortunately, it is human nature be greedy and hateful. That's
so easy. But to learn to be kind, generous, loving and compassionate,
well, that has to be the most difficult, most rebellious, most radical
act of a lifetime."
Levine's difficult
and painful life had eventually brought him to a place of profound
self-discovery. He had finally learned that the real rebellion is
one of spiritual awakening.
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