Why do convention promoters continue to blast live music down the throats of tattoo artists and fans, when nobody is listening? Yeah, I know they want to make a show of it and give something for the ticket holders, but does it have to wipe out any semblance of conversation or invade that sacred, quiet time we all hanker for when a tattoo needle is carving its way into our ribcage? I remember voicing my complaint to a well-known entrepreneur on his convention floor and his answer was, "What? I can't hear you." 'Nuff said.

Why do nationally distributed magazines like Cosmopolitan, People and Juxtapoz, for heaven's sake, get to show naked boobies on the pages of their publications and tattoo rags can not? Hey, aren't tattoos counter-culture? Aren't tattoo magazines supposed to represent the rough and tumble world of ink on skin? Then why, please tell me, do we all have to put star-shaped pasties, pixilated permutations and airbrushed nothingness where good, old-fashioned flesh used to reside? It isn't fair, and we ought to consider this the next time we go to the polls. The poles at stripper bars, that is.

Why do tattoo conventions have crummy food, and I don't mean the pastry? Either the event is held in the middle of a parking lot, miles from the nearest freshly cooked omelet with crisp, sizzling bacon and hot, buttered raisin toast, or the concessions are part of the rental agreement. When the hall is leased, the food comes with the deal. What do you get? Microwaved hotdogs on stale buns is what you get. Six dollar soft drinks is what you get. What ever happened to tattoo conventions in hotels with a great dining room and a dozen terrific restaurants a five-minute walk out the door? Wolfgang Puck, where are you?

Why do young whippersnappers who have been pushing ink for barely a couple of years think they're God's gift to the art form? They rip off every idea Don Ed Hardy, Paul Booth, Filip Leu, Horiyoshi III and Jack Rudy ever had and then put down the very idols they stole from. These self-appointed "legends" put more time into creating their own press notices and website accolades than they do tattooing. They're awarded some trophy at a tattoo contest in East Bumfuck, Wyoming and you'd think they won the Indianapolis 500. About the only thing they're really good at is attracting tattoo illiterati who wouldn't know a good tattoo if they fell over it.

Why do pretty girls with sexy ink come to tattoo events in hoodies and sweatpants? What happened to the cute babes that used to swagger around the convention floor and give us tattoo magazines someone to chase? Where are the spiked heels and bustiers of yesteryear? The mesh stockings and push-up bras? It's beginning to look like a swap meet out there, not a tattoo extravaganza. Next thing you know, they'll start showing up with chaperones.

Why don't tattooers have health insurance? Sure, a handful of responsible shop owners have provided coverage for their employees, but not enough to make a dent in a deplorable situation. While the federal government and political parties wrangle about national healthcare, why can't those tens of thousands of tattoo artists across the country unite and do some real good for one another? I'm sure it could be done. So, why isn't someone doing something about it? Because tattooed people can't even agree on what's better: old-school, new-skool or no-school. That's why.

I'm done, now. See ya next month.

Bob Baxter
Editor in Chief

baxter@skin&ink.com
www.skinandink.com