JANUARY 2000 — FEATURE STORY
DIGGIN' THE DIRT WITH HOLLY
With Holly Tuesday
I have a warm spot in the cockles of my heart for the tattoo-question-askers. You know, the "How come? How much? How many?" interrogators. They stop you on the street, in the supermarket, while you're on stage at the strip club. And it's always bad timing. Always. So here's my guide to deflecting them quickly, efficiently and with just a sprinkling of smart-ass attitude...
How come? Do not, I repeat, do not open the door to the inner meaning of your tattoos. You will inevitably have to hear about the inner meaning of the tattoo they always wanted but never "had the guts" to get. Stick with something like, "I was kidnapped as a young child and was returned to my parents like this."
How much? Can you believe that people actually ask how much your tattoos cost?! This pisses me off. I usually counter with, "How much did your face-lift cost?"
How many? Another warning here; don't give a number any higher than the number of tattoos you are willing to hoist up your clothes and show to this person. However, if you're single, this is an excellent opportunity to invite them back to your place...
The one question that I have yet to have an answer to is, "What will your grandchildren think?" So, in the name of research, I've taken the first steps to enlightenment by having a baby. Yep, that's me on the cover of this very issue, just waiting to see what the little stinker thinks of her tattooed mom, dad, uncles, aunts and grandparents. In fact, her grandfather has already saved a spot on his forearm for a portrait of the young whippersnapper. I'll let you know what happens...
Get your machines ready and fill a cup with your favorite shade of pink. According to the Canadian Society of Plastic Surgeons, tattooing has taken a prominent role in breast reconstruction. Instead of using skin grafts to create a simulated areola and nipple, tattooing is used. The benefits include better color matching, the patient does not acquire additional scars from the skin graft and an operating room is not necessary. However, I'm a little sorry to hear that the plastic surgeons are the ones doing the work. It seems to me that some charming young tattooists out there should be able to get a firm grasp on this market...
One of tattooing's most whimsical and wild dames, Madame Chinchilla of Triangle Tattoo & Museum in Fort Bragg, California, has just released another book. You may recall that her previous work, Stewed, Screwed and Tattooed, was reviewed in this very magazine by this very columnist some time back. Her newest, however, caters to the budding tattoo enthusiasts on the kindergarten playground. You know, those little ones who use the sidewalk chalk to conjure up dragons and rosebuds. You can get more information on Madame Chinchilla's Chi Chi in Cyberspace and her e-mailing Chihuahuas at <http://www.mcn.org/d/chichi/>...
Freaks, wonders and human curiosities. The strange, odd, bizarre and macabre—no, it's not Thanksgiving all over again. It's the Coney Island Circus Sideshow. According to my info, this is one of the last authentic sideshows in the United States and includes Zenobia, the Bearded Lady, Electra the High Voltage Lady, Koko the Killer Klown and, of course, the Illustrated Man. But the king of the weirdoes has to be Spider Webb who is currently lecturing on the historical aspects of Coney Island tattooing back in the 1950s. For more information on the Coney Island Circus Sideshow and their Historical Lecture Series, contact (718) 372-5159...
Here at Skin & Ink we spend a lot of time on the sanitation soapbox. I'd like to climb on up there once again to give you a few facts about the word that strikes fear in the hearts of tattooed people everywhere: hepatitis. Here's a quick primer: According to my research, of the three types of hepatitis, you can contract only hepatitis B (HBV) or hepatitis C (HCV) from contaminated instruments such as tattoo needles or exposure to bodily fluids. Both cause inflammation of the liver which can lead to cirrhosis or even cancer of the liver. What's especially important to realize is that 300 million people in the world have chronic HBV and four million Americans have chronic HCV. When you're chronic you can pass the infection to others and not have any symptoms yourself. So those of you out there who figure you're safe just because your client isn't bright yellow with jaundice, you're dead wrong. Each year approximately 15,000 people die from HBV and HCV-related liver disease. HBV is 100 times more infectious than HIV-AIDS. And did you know (listen up here), HBV can live on a dry surface for at least seven days...
All right, all right, Holly. Now that you've hopefully scared the bejayzus out of those of you who need scaring, what do we do? Well, you know the drill about sterile chain of events by now, right? Why don't you also get a hepatitis blood test at your annual doctor's visit. By the way, hepatitis B vaccine is readily available and can help protect those who are heavily exposed to blood and bodily fluids (that means tattooists and tattooees!). But even the vaccine is not 100%, so keep it clean, boys. If for no other reason, think of your liver. I know how important your liver is to you. Yes, do it for your liver...
I was in a literary mood the other day and checked out the newest John Irving book. You may remember Mr. Irving as the author of such titles as The World According to Garp and his latest, A Widow for One Year. Lo and behold, can you guess what famous tattoo artist is mentioned during a fictional trip to Amsterdam? It appears that Mr. Irving must have paid a visit to the world-famous Amsterdam Tattoo Museum and House of Pain. I'll give you another hint, the tattooist's initials are H.P....
And speaking of the famous Mr. Panky, I regretfully report that his upcoming TAT2K Amsterdam Convention, previously scheduled to take place May 16 through 21 at the Docklands has been cancelled. Life goes on...
Also on the convention calendar, the 10th Annual Shades of Blue Tattoo Show at the LaCrosse Center in Wisconsin opens its doors February 4 through 6, and the Inkin' Lincoln Special Edition is happening March 3 through 5 at the Westin Hotel O'Hare in Rosemont, Illinois. Both shows feature live entertainment and contests. However...
I was checking out the Inkin' Lincoln Special Edition contest information and was amazed how easy it is to suck the creativity and fun out of something as wonderful as tattooing. I'm getting bogged down by rules, man. How about, "Do not speak with the judges unless they address you"? Come on guys, I know you need to move the contest along, but this is reminiscent of the principal's office. And "Do not argue with the judges." What's the fun in that? There's nothing like a good public argument to spice up a dull contest. And I love the definitions of categories: "Wildlife tattoos will be of any non-domesticated animal or living entity not human," "Native American Tattoos will be depictions of the Native American race that was living in America before the Europeans landed in North America." So where exactly should I enter my back piece of wild heifers charging through the Reservation casino?...
To close out this month's column, I'd like to put a question out there to all of you: "What is your vision of tattooing in the century to come? What do you think will happen to this current "Tattoo Renaissance?" Where will tattooing take us in the next 100 years? Who will be the legends in 50 years? Put your pen to paper and send it in, attention Holly Tuesday...
And that's the buzz...