EDITOR'S COMMENT—JANUARY 2003
I wanna tattoo name.
Hey, how come everybody gets cool monikers except me? Gill "the Drill" Montie. How are you going to beat a name like that? Sailor Jerry Collins, Sailor Jerry Swallow, Sailor Moses—gee, I wish I'd been a seafarer.
Beverly Lazonga changed her name altogether. She tried "Madame Lazonga" for a while, but then got into numerology. No more Beverly, no more Lazonga. Now she's called Vyvyn.
Felix Leu became Don Feliz. Mike Malone goes by Rollo. And Yoshihito Nakano is Horiyoshi III.
Madame Chinchilla. I don't think her mommy put that on the birth certificate.
Same with Sunny Buick, Tin-Tin, Tennessee Dave, Spider Webb, Tramp Welker, Tahiti Felix, Tatts Thomas and Painless Nell. They all have historic-sounding names that will live forever.
Maybe letters would work. I could call myself R.E. That's for Robert Earl. R.J. Musolf goes by R.J., and Chuck Eldridge signs his name C.W. There's even a G and an M.
And then all the Captains and the Docs. Did I leave out Krystyne Kolorful? C'mon, she made that up.
Maybe my name's too awkward to colorize. Robert E. Baxter Jr. That doesn't sound like a tattoo name at all. Being a Junior, I got called Rob and Robbie and Robin and Bob, but never anything good. Even a guy called Henk Schiffmacher gets to be Hanky Panky.
No doubt about it, when they handed out the appellations, I was robbed.
—Bob "Editor in Chief" Baxter