FEATURE ARTICLE — November 2002
IDIGGIN' THE DIRT WITH HOLLY
Growing up with three brothers, I have a skewed view of my feminine side. With all the masculine influence in my childhood, I didn't have much to do with tea parties or dress-up, opting instead for more sporting pursuits like Shove the Barbie in the Easy Bake Oven, Poison Ivy Hide and Seek and, my personal favorite, Beat the Crap Out of the Little Sister. Nice wholesome games the whole family can enjoy…
So, when my brothers started getting tattooed, I, as usual, tagged right along. What's good for Greg Brady must be good for Marsha Brady, right? I soon found out that the rest of the world didn't have the same idea. The vast majority of people seemed to feel that there were certain things that only men should have. But unlike prostrate exams and hairy nipples, tattoos were something I really dug! So screw 'em…
I went ahead and got pretty heavily tattooed. I mean, I'm no Betty Broadbent, but I get my share of stares and comments. And I've found that, in most situations, a tattoo that would be perfectly acceptable and overlooked on a man is viewed as grotesque and disturbing on a woman. C'mon, admit it, men have total freedom to get whatever the hell they want inked—a shrieking goat's head flying out of a bloody placenta and surrounded by rotting fetuses is met with, "Rockin, dude!" While we women thumb through a flash book of 1001 Views of Flowers and Fairies. Not that I'd necessarily want the aforementioned shrieking goat's head, but feel free to use the idea for yourself…
Was I the only sweet thang that had come across this discrepancy? I had to know. So, I called up a few friends, and we sat around malebashing, I mean…er…discussing the socio-cultural ideals of the American public in regards to feminine versus masculine ideals of asthetics and body image. Okay, we were male-bashing. I am women—hear me complain!…
The cast of characters is as follows: Anne Snair, who recently left her job to be the coolest full-time mom on the playground; Nancy Gipson, reluctant corporate-America employee; Nancy's daughter Kathryn Harvey, who has worked in more retail establishments than I've been in; Sophie Baxter, mother to Tiger Lillie and fashion extremist; and Marjoleine Baxter, ex-Amsterdamite and hairstylist for the sick and degraded—all of which are heavily tattooed females and dear friends of mine.
Question #1: What sort of prejudices have you noticed being a tattooed woman?
Marjoleine: Well, here in the United States I haven't really experienced any prejudices—as yet! Although, now that I'm thinking about it, from some people at the laundromat, I've gotten "the look." But in Holland in the smaller towns, the conservative people associate tattoos with white trash, period! And I do think that, amongst a lot of people, tattoos are accepted more for men. People think women should be pure and clean-skinned.
Anne: Oh, yeah, in older communities like mine there's a lot of shock. I especially notice the reactions I get in the supermarket or on the playground, when I'm with my daughter. People look at Haley like they're scared for her life. And the little kids get a bit scared. But that's good. In the area I live in, I want them to be scared of me.
Kathryn: In bars or places like that it can suck when people assume that you're hard to approach, difficult to talk to.
Sophie: Or trashy. Even my grandpa asks me, "So Sophie, where's your hog?" Like I'm some kind of biker trash. I'm obviously not. And when I was pregnant, I had terrible experiences at the hospital. They were so prejudiced against tattoos and piercings. They were horrified and incredibly rude. I could tell they thought I was trash. After that, I wore long sleeves and took out my piercings, and I resented it. These people were ultimately responsible for my baby's life. It sucked.
Nancy: What I don't like is when people see me and Kathryn, they assume we're mother and daughter, not because we look alike or act alike, but because "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They think that somehow her tattoos are because of my tattoos. That's how it's perceived.
Question #2: How has being tattooed affected your profession or career?
Anne: At work, I was always covered. I had to, because the place where I worked was very conservative, and it was very unacceptable. That made me miserable. This is Southern California, and I'm wearing a turtleneck!? I was in upper management, and they thought it would influence others to do what they wanted, to not conform. I was actually told to cover and make sure that no one was aware.
Nancy: I work in corporate America, and I am definitely in the minority of a 3,000-plus firm. I try not to wear short sleeves or short skirts, but, over the years, people get to know. They can see the one coming up your neck or down your arm. They know that they're there. And then, of course, the questions come. But workplace harassment is so much in the news, and I'm with such a major corporation that, once I was hired, it would be really difficult for them to make an issue unless I had full sleeves and wore sleeveless, backless all the time. If they don't show, then, at most, I'm a distraction. But the company has a dress code, and you pretty much have to go with the dress code anyway. There aren't a lot of people who are pierced or with different colored hair, that's just not what corporate America embraces. The visibly tattooed people—and this is a really bad stereotype, but that's what is—are the mailroom guys, the minimum-wage workers. And men have to wear suits anyway, so they don't run into the problem, plus men who are tattooed in corporate America are mainly frat boys. But, for a long time, I never got a tattoo in a place that would show, because of the work thing. And, when Kathryn was getting tattooed, I would tell her, remember that someday you're going to have work someplace.
Kathryn: It's different for our age group. People who are already older are established in their jobs and careers. For instance, I've been asked a million times if I ever graduated high school.
Marjoleine: Being tattooed doesn't affect my career in a bad way at all. It's actually a good ice-breaker with the new clients. I have some clients that you'd never expect to have tattoos—like 45-year-old women lawyers that whip out their backpiece, and I'll just be blown away!
Sophie: As a mom, I think people don't like it. I think it's also because I'm young. People probably expect me to be a bad parent. Again, my grandparents, they don't expect my house to be clean and my child to be healthy. They say things that insinuate how surprised they are. Or when I'm out with someone who's not tattooed, they think Lillie is their baby, or that I'm babysitting. They don't think that when her dad is with her. They don't notice it as much with him.
Final question: What's your general take on being a tattooed female versus being a tattooed male?
Marjoleine: In general, from what I have experienced, I haven't come across any major problems being a tattooed woman. What does annoy me sometimes is that people think they can just touch you out of the blue.
Kathryn: Move your hair out of the way and pull up your sleeve. That doesn't happen to men. It's the objectification of the woman's body. They assume that, because you are female and tattooed, you are promiscuous and mean. It becomes a judgment call on character and morality instead of art. It's the classic double standard. A man isn't considered promiscuous or mean because he's tattooed.
Anne: I think it's worse for women. I think that men look at women that are tattooed and think that women of that nature are more wild or have something hidden. Women are treated a lot differently. For men, it's a strong macho thing. For women, it's sleazy and, for some, provocative, I suppose.
Sophie: Women definitely have a harder time than men. A lot of people expect men to have tattoos and not women. At lunch, an old man walked up to my table and told me that he didn't like tattoos on women. Do you think he'd have the guts to say that to a man?
And that's the buzz…
—Holly Tuesday